【老沈講神話】 老蒼頭的天數;
数天数
話說, 那從前的從前, 那蓬萊外海, 有一仙山, 住的有兩種仙,
一是是老蒼頭仙; 另一種是媽祖婆仙, 明明七十多了, 即是不上粧,
個個看起來, 都只有十七歲; 這些仙婆子挺會過日子, 今天約了
喝下午茶, 明天約了打個小牌, 每個月更是踏著祥雲雲遊四海,
這個月去南極, 下個月去尼泊爾, 再來去愛爾蘭, 小日子過得
油滋滋滴...因為飛得太招搖了, 弄得王母娘娘起了疑, 為何她們
活得活蹦亂跳, 跟花蝴蝶採蜜似的窮忙活, 而那些個老蒼頭們,卻
滿臉病容, 病懨懨的, 有氣無力, 三拳打不出個屁來, 大門不出,
二門不邁, 就等二腿一伸, 蒙主寵召, 了勒虛來這世間一趟;
王母娘娘看了不忍, 上報玉皇大帝, 玉帝敕命閻羅王帶了生死薄,
並找了個會打算盤的會計師, 三下五去二, 一算之下, 不得了,
怎麼按凡間的保險生命統計, 這男子較女子少活 6.7 歲, 台灣
男性平均壽年 79.2, 而女性 85.9 ; 這消息傳到老蒼頭耳中, 雖然
舉步維艱, 也要上街, 抗議他們為何沒有 18 叭, 因為實在太冤了,
那冤氣更是氣沖牛斗, 直達天庭, 為撫平抗議聲, 玉皇派了太白
金星下凡瞭解並予以疏通, 太白金星因剛旅遊美國返回, 說話夾帶
英語 :
Q : What's the fuss?
A : Why we, the male species, the stronger and the gallant ones, are
universally short-changed?
Q : You did only a marginal contribution to the human species by
providing the sperm, not a big deal !
A.: Even so, we deserve at least an equal status as the female species,
as far as life span is concerned. Nothing more, and nothing less;
Q : You stupid and ignorant bunch! Have you all ever heard the dictum of
'Natural Balance between Biological Species and Surrounding Universe'?
A : What's hell is this 'shit'?
Q : In summary, the female are a more intelligent species, as it's they the
ones dominating the reproduction process. In fact, there is a term "inter-
sextural selection", or "mate choice", instead of the "male choice" as your
dumb male species kept boasting of;
A : Prove it!
Q : A curious shift had been found that during and right after a war: more boys
tend to be born than girls. It's been documented for decades in many nations,
especially during long conflicts with many troops deployed. The cause of this
boy boom has long flummoxed thinkers and scientists.
The sex ratio at birth worldwide is commonly thought to be 107 boys to 100
girls; Some strange force replacing the males lost in warfare with new baby
boys, ready to do their bit when the time comes round again? This may not
be as crazy as it sounds - the ‘Trivers-Willard’ evolutionary theory says that
offspring tend marginally towards the gender that is favoured by maternal
circumstances, and more boys will do better in a society short of males – we
don't need to bring God into it, just Darwin. Since male species carried a
number of undesirable DNA, so the Nature get rid of them with shorter lifespan.
A : We're not totally convinced;
Q : Let's watch a film, which will shock you into the sense, and drop the
false concept of male dominance;
So they went to watch this film 'The Lobster'
The Lobster - Briefing
The Lobster review: 'like nothing you've seen before'
After watching the movie; here the dialogue continued;
A : What kind of animal would you like to be in your next life;
Q : After viewing the movie, we all inspired to be 'The Lobster';
A : Why so?
Q : The Lobster species are of 'Blue Blood', an outstanding DNA
and a kind of aristocrat; Further, they lived up to 100 years, and
fertile all their life time;
Q : Wise choice!
太上老君意猶未盡, 又放了一部電影;
